The Guys' Rules

Disclaimer - This post is not 'written' by me. However it was so good that it was imperative that I share it! Had I known the original source I would have cited it but this is from one of those innumerable mail threads that start off and disappear all of a sudden ....

The Guys' Rules­­­

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story.
( I must admit, it's pretty good.)
We always hear " the rules"
From the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1"
ON PURPOSE!
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1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.


1. Crying is emotional blackmail.


1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just come to the point and say it directly!!


1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. ‘may be’ , ‘perhaps’ and ‘whatever’ , such answers don’t serve any purpose



1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a Problem. don’t force us to drag you to a doctor.
See a doctor yourself.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 Days


1. If you are no heroines, don’t expect us to act like heroes.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.


1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one


1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.


1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.


1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.



1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We ‘will’ act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the argument.


1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.


1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really…..


1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as CRICKET OR FOOTBALL.


1. You have enough clothes.


1. You have too many shoes.


1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!


1. Thank you for reading this.


1. All points are marked as point no. (1), becoz all points are equally Important.
There is no thing as More Important or less Important.

Calculus, male mind and the female mind

Calculus, male mind and the female mind

Male mind is like differential calculus. Whenever men are faced with a situation/ problem/ question, they never look at it as a whole. They take a look at the complicated problem curve P and break it down into small elements, dP1, dP2, dP3....dPn till the curve (the element) starts looking like a straight line. Then they look for a solution to this linear element. This style of thinking comes from the fact that the male brain is single minded i.e focused on one and only one thing at a time, multitasking or multithreading is not their forte. Male mind places logic and simplicity of solution above anything else. It does not like limits, dependencies and non linearities.

Female mind on the other hand functions like integral calculus. It looks at a problem curve, considers the domain variables, the dependencies, the limits and then it integrates P to come to a solution. Thus the female solution is not only for the Problem curve P, it is one degree higher so that the solution for P does not give rise to any other problems. The female mind revels in non linearities. It looks at the bigger picture to come up with a solution. The solution is not necessarily a simple one but it is more long lasting.

Male mind functions on the principle of differential calculus, the female mind functions on the principles of integral calculus. Though both the things are diametrically opposite, they are very much complementary. One is incomplete without the other.